What I don’t want to read about in contemporaries

  1. Protagonists who meet each other for the very first time on page 1, rip the clothes off each other on page 2 and proceed to have wild bunny sex on page 3.
  2. Protagonists who meet each other for the very first time on page 1, rip the clothes off each other on page 2 and proceed to have wild bunny sex on page 3 — thereby skipping the “Hi, my name is Ralph, what’s yours?” stage completely. While this might constitue normal behaviour for people at college (or not), I expect romance characters to behave in a somewhat more mature fashion.
  3. Protagonists who meet each other for the very first time on page 1, rip the clothes off each other on page 2 and proceed to have wild bunny sex on page 3 — even though the heroine is a virgin.
  4. Heroes who’ve slept with half of the world’s female population before they meet the heroine. (Ugh.)
  5. (Ex-)virgin-heroines who’ve slept with hero on page 3, decided he was jerk, and then spent countless sleepless nights thinking about the jerk whose name they’ve never got to know because of all the hurried clothes-ripping on page 2 and the aforementioned wild bunny sex on page 3.

(Gargh! Why oh why did I buy this book???)

2 thoughts on “What I don’t want to read about in contemporaries

  1. Laura Vivanco

    What I do know is that I really, really don’t want to know what indecent acts the wild bunny gets up to with that plunger!

    As for (4) that makes me think “sexually transmitted diseases.”

    Did these idiots manage to restrain their passion long enough to use a condom?

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