The Mean Volk

I stole this title from Schrumpfkopf’s post on translation desasters (which he wrote while correcting an exam). At the moment I’m correcting student papers and I’m just as happy and delighted as Schrumpfkopf was when he wrote the aforementioned post. Namely,

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!

Why, I ask you? Why can’t people stick to the most simple formatting rules? Why don’t they document their fricking sources??? WHY? We talked about this in class! There was a handout they could have downloaded. We’ve got a stylesheet at our department. Which students can buy. For, like, 50 cents. It doesn’t cost the world. It’s perfectly affordable.

Oh man, this is worse than getting a bad review! Worse than the Smart Bitches comparing your books to maggot-infested cheese! Worse than getting three points (out of 100) from Mrs. Giggles!

*sob*

Maybe I should start writing for the Mills&Boon Modern Romance line. I hear they’re paying awfully well. And what with the books being translated in umpteen languages … Heck, I’m sure there’s a secret baby waiting to break free in all of us! An amnesia story! A smouldering Greek tycoon, who oozes sinful lust — and thinks every woman must be a gold digger or punishes the poor heroine for the sins of his slutty mother! Or, even better, a smouldering Greek tycoon, who oozes sinful lust — and is out for revenge! On the heroine! (Uhm … in every sense of the word.)

Secret baby, where are you?