Signs of Life

“Knock, knock, who’s there?”


“Sandy who?”

“Sandy who hasn’t posted in ages.”

As you can see, I still haven’t been abducted by aliens, nor have I fallen off the edges of the earth. Instead, life hit me over the head.

Real hard.

Almost from the beginning, 2012 turned into an annus horribilis for my family: we lost three people from among our close friends and family, among them my sweet, dear grandfather. Shortly before Easter he became seriously ill. After a stay at the hospital, he moved in with us and was nursed by the family. We all hoped his health would improve again, but instead he became frailer and frailer. He died the day I returned home from RWA National.

I love this picture of me & my granddad – it was taken in 1994

As you can imagine, his illness and subsequent death hit us all quite hard. I had enormous difficulties coping with the whole situation. Indeed, all I could do was try and get through each day without breaking down. Consquently, I lost touch with friends, I no longer updated this blog, and I stopped writing. Well, I’ve never been able to write through heartbreak, so this was hardly surprising. But I also got bad at handling phone calls and e-mails (e-mails still present a problem …), and by the end of the year I suffered from panic attacks. In addition, we lost Carlos, one of our remaining family cats, and Teh Kitteh’s kidney problems worsened. Indeed, they’re now so bad that she will die soon. So as you can see, 2012 was a shitty year all around.

Given this background, I doubly grateful for the good things that came my way:

  • In May I attended the wonderful 1st LoveLetter Conference in Berlin.
  • I returned once again to Freiburg for another academic conference.
  • After years and years and years, I finally attended RWA National once again – and went to Disneyland as well! Whoohooo!!!
  • After a long struggle, I finally got the rights to my three novels back. Yay! I plan to dip my toes into self-publishing and I hope I’ll soon manage to get new editions of all three novels online – in addition to a brandnew novel. More about this soon!

2 thoughts on “Signs of Life

  1. azteclady

    *very tight hug*

    Welcome back–I’m very, very sorry for all your losses and the sadness and struggle that they brought into your life.

    May this year be easier, happier and healthier, all around.

  2. Sandra Schwab

    Thank you so much. I try to focus on the good things, though that isn’t always that easy, and I often feel as if I were sitting in a dark hole. But I do hope that 2013 will be better. There are certainly quite a number of things to look forward to, among them another trip to the Black Forest. 🙂

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